My Counseling Theory--The Worldview of My Ministry

Personal Counseling Theory Paper

When we focus on preventative programming, especially for children, we can protect them from ever being broken into pieces by Satan's system.

Abstract

This paper includes the theory perspectives I used to form my base for counseling. Over the years there has been debate over which theory is the most effective for counseling services, and if one theory is better than the other. Yet, in recent years, there has been a movement for the theories to come together to blend and incorporate different viewpoints. People are diverse, and so are their experiences. It only makes sense to have various styles and approaches to counseling and counseling techniques. When we accept and welcome diversity, there can be a profound amount of progress made, because many theories have their strengths and weaknesses. The ultimate goal of counseling is to help a client change their life in the direction they want to change it, and there are various ways of reaching that goal.

Personal Beliefs About Human Nature

In the field of counseling and psychotherapy there has been a lot of debate over what motivates people to become who and what they are. Until recently, the theoretical viewpoints on human behavior have been divided with the people who supported one theory entirely rejecting all others. Even though the theories about behavior can be entirely different, there are some things that can be learned from each of the theories. Each theory has its strengths and weaknesses, and they have all contributed to psychotherapy in their own unique way. As a result of this, people have begun to blend theories, or they will at least admit that each theory has the potential to help the field in some way. The integration of these theories may prove to be the best approach, because counselors and their clients can find what works best for them as an individual.

My personal experiences have led me to identify best with the holistic Adlerian theoretical view of psychotherapy. Alfred Adler developed Adlerian therapy, and in his theoretical viewpoint people are seen as having free will and responsibility. However, people also have a style of life that will influence their choices throughout their life (Corey 2012). In the Adlerian view, a person’s perspective of past events will influence their present behavior, and people are seen as having a subjective perspective. The perspective also known as the style of life that a person has will impact how an individual adapts to life and responds to life’s challenges. The style of life is developed in childhood, and it is formed by early childhood experiences. “Adler focused on the person’s past as perceived in the present and how an individual’s interpretation of early events contributed to their present behavior” (Corey 2012). A style of life is considered to be a part of the human personality. “The term lifestyle may be viewed as similar to what other theorists would refer to as personality but with additional implications from an Adlerian perspective” (Astrauskaite, & Kern 2011). The main reason I love Adlerian therapy is because it focuses on an individual’s reactions to life, but it also focuses on how the environmental factors have influenced the development of an individual’s style of life formation. People are understood to be a combination of their environment, and their personal style of life or personality construct, and childhood is deemed influential in the general worldview of most people, unless these constructs are intentionally changed.

In the Adlerian view of psychotherapy people are primarily conscious and purposeful in their behavior. “Humans are motivated primarily by social relatedness rather than by sexual urges; behavior is purposeful and goal directed; and consciousness, more than unconsciousness is the focus of therapy” (Corey 2012). Not only are people motivated by social urges, but they are also motivated by inferiority feelings which Alder saw as being a normal part of the human condition. “We are driven to overcome our sense of inferiority and to strive for increasingly higher levels of development” (Corey 2012).

The inferiority people feel will help them direct their focus and behavior towards becoming acceptable within their society. “In life, we begin to envision what we might be like if we were successful, complete, whole, or perfect. Applied to human motivation, a guiding self-ideal might be expressed in this way: “Only when I am perfect can I be secure” or “Only when I am important can I be accepted” (Corey 2012). This theory could be viewed as proactive and reactive, because it acknowledges the importance of early childhood experiences in style of life formation, but people’s life choices are still their own, and we are all responsible for what we choose to do.

For Christians, the feeling of inferiority is fixed through salvation in Christ. As we become new creatures through Christ Jesus, we are complete, whole, and perfect. We are renewed and we have a purpose in life. My personal beliefs align with Adler’s when it comes to human personality development, and motivation, because I believe people have choices to make, but I believe these choices are made because of a person’s perspective of themselves and the environment they are in. We must be born again to begin to grow and develop in a new role and identity. We need salvation to feel whole and complete.

The Adlerian theory can be merged with other theories of human development such as Feminist theory. In the Feminist theory, social and political factors are key to understanding human behavior. Social environments influence people’s view of themselves, and their place within society. In both Adlerian and Feminist theory, social interactions are foundational in human development and behavior, but they do not have to determine a person’s future self if a person begins to recognize societal pressures influencing them and actively chooses to change or adapt to their ways of thinking.

“People are both the producer and the product of their environment” (Corey 2012). As human behavior is looked at through the lens of Adlerian and Feminist perspectives simultaneously, people’s behavioral change or adaptation to new ways of thinking and acting is largely related to their inferiority feelings and a striving to belong within their society at large. How we view ourselves-- and who we want to become, as it relates to our family formation and identity, determines our destiny. Through Christ, our destiny is assured and promised. We are a part of a family unit that teaches us proper thinking and behaving, and we know we are loved and important in this world.

Assimilating Adlerian and Feminist theories together, shows us that gender is a primary determinant in a person’s lifestyle formation, because both men and women want to belong to their gender group, and they want to be accepted by society. Yet, we must remember our true identity in Christ, is the ultimate determinant of who we become and what we aspire to me. Christian women and Pagan women do not want all of the same things out of life, because their family origins and their view of themselves are vastly different. So, although women do have gender as an influential part of their person, this characteristic is not stronger than the family of origin (Christian) tie.

Studies have shown children become aware of their gender identities as early as three years old. Children are very much aware of their gender identity, as they should be. God made boys into boys, and He made girls into girls. Gender influences the individual view of self, but it also influences how people relate to and interact with each other. Gender determines our roles in life and helps to give us meaning and purpose. How a child begins to perceive their world, others in their world, and their future, is largely determined by their gender formation. Gender identity will begin to influence a person’s future behavior, roles, and choices in life. It impacts our decisions. When people consciously begin to separate themselves from their gender or origin in situations such as transgender procedures, they will still be influenced by their original gender schema and foundation early in their life, because God has created us male and female. He has designed us to be unique and purposeful. He has given us a mission for our life that we can't ever erase or take away, even when we get lost or confused about the truth of our identity. Many times, people want to change their gender identity because they feel as if it isn't congruent with whom they want to become. In an attempt to run from their true self, they want to change their gender.

The further we get away from our God given identity- the worse our life will become, and the closer we get to our God given identity, the better we will be.

Personal Beliefs About Change

“The concept of the purposeful nature of behavior is perhaps the cornerstone of Adler’s theory. Adler replaced the deterministic explanations with teleological (purposive, goal-oriented) ones” (Corey 2012). In this perspective, people think, act, and feel in relation to their goals, and most of their decisions are based on experiences, the present situation and the direction that the person is going. (Corey 2012). The Adlerian view of change mixes very well with the Feminist view, because women and men’s past experiences, present mindset, and the direction they are heading is largely influenced by their gender role and identity. The social and political factors in the environment will be one of the sources of motivation that will propel the individual into change, and it will also shape the goal the person sets for themselves. For example, women may feel pressure to look a certain way in order to fit in or be accepted within their society and their gender group. When this happens, their goal to look a certain way is formulated within their mind. This goal will then influence their behavior, and they may spend hours at the gym, in the salon, or buying products to make themselves look how society says women should look. “Societal pressures can persuade women to believe that a certain beauty ideal needs to be met in order to be considered sexually attractive. These societal pressures can also influence women to believe that they need to be sexually pleasing to others in order to be considered worthy” (McLean, Guardia, Nelson, & Watts 2016). The gender inferiority that people feel will influence them to develop a self-ideal and this self-ideal is the motivation for change.

An example of a situation that may influence a man’s inferiority within the current social and political situation could be finances. In American society, and in the Bible, men are the breadwinners, and the head of the household. If a man is unable to find a job, or provide for his family, then he may feel inadequate and seek counseling to find out why he feels so insecure, or depressed. He may not know that he is feeling the pressure related to his gender identity, but he knows that he is struggling emotionally. The self-ideal and the goal he has set for himself has been influenced by his gender, and the failure to meet the goal causes mental health problems. Anyone would be concerned over unemployment, but this concern is usually exaggerated for men, because they have been hardwired to need money, respect, and social power. Men were created by God to be breadwinners, and when they fail to do this role, they fail in their manhood and suffer in their health.

Feminists believe that in order for individual change to occur, societies social and political systems need to change, because individuals are inevitably influenced and shaped by their social and political systems, consistent with Adler's view. Christians likewise need to focus on changing the macro social and political systems around them, realizing that when these systems change because of Christianity and Christian norms, then positive changes will occur for both genders. All people will thrive and benefit under Christian sociopolitical systems. The closer we are to God's design for the male and the female, the closer we will be to utopia. The more our large-scale societal organizations, such as schools and the justice system model God's kingdom, the more successful and affluent will we become. The goal of the Christian should be to influence and shape their culture and their society. We need to aspire to change our countries and our communities for good, through exalting kingdom principles and social norms.

As children are forming their lifestyle perspective, their social and political environment is important. Children’s experiences within these systems within their society will without a doubt influence their perspective of the world. Children raised around competent, healthy, and successful adults will model those who surround them and teach them. Hebrews 6:12 says, "In order that you may not grow disinterested and become [spiritual] sluggards, but imitators, behaving as do those who through faith ([a]by their leaning of the entire personality on God in Christ in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness) and by practice of patient endurance and waiting are [now] inheriting the promises."

“Psychological distress can occur when we do not accept ourselves as we are. Within us lies a dualistic struggle where we are either right or wrong, good or bad, strong or weak that leads us to constantly evaluate ourselves” (McLean, Guardia, Nelson, & Watts 2016). When people want to alter their behavior, they need to recognize how their perception of society and of themselves has been being shaped since childhood and is induced by feelings of inferiority. If we realize we are loved, created, and valuable to God, then we will behave differently than if we view ourselves as unimportant, unlovable, and invaluable. Human beings can change their behaviors, but their personality is hard to change, because our personality is our soul, and is given to us by God. Our personality is linked to our identity. It is a part of who God wants us to be in His kingdom and His family. When the soul/personality has been wounded by the enemy, then the view of oneself becomes flawed and damaged. In order to ever grow and thrive, the person must undo the damage through a loving and intimate relationship with their Creator. Through this process, the person discovers who they truly are and what they are to do. They become renewed in their soul/mind, because of their transformation in their spirit.

Specific behaviors can change if a person changes their subjective perception over what is normal or what is not for their social groups. Christians are a social group. The church has norms, expectations and obligations. Under the Church's guidelines and expectations, normative behaviors and mindsets are established. What is acceptable and tolerated for women in the church is not the same as women in general society/culture. Therefore, women and men alike must find their identity in Christ, through the understanding of scripture, if they are going to truly walk out their purpose and fulfill their destiny. Once we know who we are and what we are to do, then our behaviors will fall in line with these ideals.

This viewpoint is consistent with Adler’s belief that personal values and subjective perceptions are important in human behavior. People can evaluate how gender, social class, race, and other factors have played a role in their perception of themselves, and other people’s perceptions of them. They can evaluate how their perception of normal/abnormal has been influenced by their salvation or lack of it. Without a new nature, a new family, and a new purpose, the behavior change is nothing more than behaviorism and behavior modification for humanistic reasons. “Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.” Matthew 23:26 Through an evaluation process, people learn how their life is influenced by their choices as well as their environmental encounters. But simply knowing something will not make change happen. We all have a choice in how we perceive and react to what has happened or will happen. People can analyze their life through an individual as well as cultural perspective, and then they can be empowered to become the best them possible when they want to.

Personal Theoretical Orientation

As a minister, teacher and counselor I align myself the most with the Adlerian therapy model, but I also blend the Feminist therapy model. There are many things I love about both of these theories, but I particularly love the emphasis on environmental influences, and human empowerment despite any challenges faced in the environment. My background is unquestionably influential in my orientation foundation. When I was four years old my parents got a divorce, because my dad had an affair with a woman he worked with. This influenced my life-style perspective in many ways, but the primary way it influenced me was by changing my perception to distrust others yet search for love and security anywhere I could find it. I believe family background, and early influences in the environment can seriously impact people throughout their life, because they did for me, until I was born again.

Prior to salvation, I learned through my gender socialization I could find love through sexual flaunting or being “sexy”, and so at the age of 13, I was already dating. This started me down a path of abuse and destruction. Teenage girls should never be exposed to dating relationships at 13 nor should they for any reason be perceived or treated in a sexual manner. My childhood vulnerability and feelings of inferiority due to an unstable home life/parent attachment relationship normalization led to sexual abuse, as well as physical abuse in many of my relationships as well as “friendships” with men. For a while, I tolerated poor behavior from friends and associates because my view of myself was so low, and I believed it was normal. I was also being reinforced from the superiority I felt from the attention -- (negative attention) I was receiving when I ascribed myself to the sexy woman gender ideal. My behavior was directly related to the inferiority I felt from my home life. I was attempting to "better myself" in the best way I knew how, because I felt out of place in the family and in society.

Childhood is the only time of life where another person is fully responsible for the outcome of another individual's lives. When children are stripped of their security- it leads to feelings of inferiority and children are not equipped to deal with these kinds of adult issues and problems alone. Children need healthy adults to model, teach, and explain. They need their parents to teach them. That is exactly why God implemented the age of accountability for children. God understands that children are molded, shaped, and totally at the liberty of their parents, or other caregivers, until they are mature enough to understand who they are and what they are supposed to do. Regardless of the normalization and the acceptance of the behaviors and lifestyles of sin, the guilt and the shame of the sin remained. Culture, normalization, and poor modeling can't erase the sowing and the reaping cycle of sin. When lifestyles of sin and dysfunction are sown into a child, these sins will take root and impact the child, even when it is not the child's personal choices.

“Guilt, shame, and blame. The impact on a person’s life after experiencing trauma related to CSA is extensive and pervasive. One of the most significant effects of CSA is the internalization of feelings of guilt, shame, and blame on the part of the survivor. Oftentimes the survivor has either repressed her thoughts and emotions surrounding the CSA or has thought about them so much that she blames herself for the acts of sexual abuse. Self-blame is one of the hardest emotions to challenge in a survivor because it is a deeply ingrained distortion that usually takes years to develop through learned helplessness” (Blumer, Papaj, & Erolin, 2013). The only thing that broke me out of learned helplessness and inaccurate perceptions was an interaction with Jesus Christ. Until I learned I could be set free, and I could live a different life, I was a slave, and I was in bondage. I was a captive and a prisoner. THIS is why I do what I do today. This is why I believe in preaching, teaching, and telling the good news of Jesus-- so people can be redeemed and set free from all wrong mindsets, norms, behaviors, and customs. It is through Christ alone we are able to overcome and change everything toxic, harmful, and poisonous to our minds, bodies, and spirits.

I could have never become the person I am today without the help of Jesus. However, there are many things' people can do to prevent, reduce, and eliminate the damage done in situations like mine. Children should never be subjected to any kind of sexuality prematurely. They should never learn to associate gender with sex alone. God's plan for the man and the woman is so much more expansive than sex alone. Sex is only one part of our gender. God wants us to understand our entire personality and our purpose as a male or a woman. Children must be protected from the time they are young, and they must be taught to identify with the large overreaching Godly principals and characteristics matching their gender. When a child sees a skilled and qualified man or woman of God, they will model them. When the child is consistently shown healthy behaviors and norms in God's family, they will overcome the world around them. Prevention is always better than intervention. When we focus on preventative programming, especially for children, we can protect them from ever being broken into pieces by Satan's system.

Seeking to change the social and political system at large will produce reduction and elimination for children not yet socialized by evil customs and norms. It is for this reason; all Christians should FIGHT for the systems of the world around them to be shaped and changed by Christian principals. We know when we change the macro systems of the world around the children of the world, the children will learn and grow accepting the customs and norms of the Christian worldview, as opposed to the God hating one.

For instance, we could work to prevent family decay and premature female sexuality by working to keep fathers in the home. Research confirms young girls without fathers are more likely to be abused and sexually active. This goal to keep fathers in the home can be achieved largely through shaming men who fail to provide and protect their children. This shame would influence men to do better by influencing their inferiority complex in these men. Men should feel sorry when they leave their wives and children, because this behavior is ungodly and sorry. Men need to own their failure, so they can face their true identity, and change before they produce suffering and dysfunction in the lives of all the people they have been called to lead. Men who leave their children should receive public shame and criticism for being a failure, so they will be motivated to remain in their position as a leader and a man. Ultimately, these concepts would benefit men, women, and children. They would impact our society for the better, by changing the culture, and the family system at large, ultimately influencing the micro relationships, such as the individual child development. The goal in every system, should be to change the world's system to match God's system, and in God's system men never leave their wives and children behind. 1 Timothy 5:8 explains, "If anyone fails to provide for his own, and especially for those of his own family, he has denied the faith [by disregarding its precepts] and is worse than an unbeliever [who fulfills his obligation in these matters]."

Application of Theoretical Orientation: Crisis and Consultation

I see crisis intervention as being a three-layered concept involving prevention, short-term/immediate intervention, and long-term counseling or intervention. In the first level of the model, primary prevention will consist of activities such as conflict resolution, alcohol and drug awareness programs, teenage pregnancy programs, domestic and sexual violence awareness programs, and suicide prevention programs. These programs will provide information and promote awareness. This stage is very much aligned with the Feminist perspective, because these programs empower the client. At the secondary level, steps can be taken to minimize the crisis’s effects. These steps occur because a problem already has taken place. In this phase, safety is emphasized, and the original crisis should be stopped from escalating further. At level three, there will need to be longer counseling and support. During step three, an entire system needs to be altered and changed for progress to occur.

Biblical Integration

There are many reasons I chose to practice from an Adlerian/Feminist perspective related to the Bible. The first thing is the emphasis on community and family that arise in both Adlerian and Feminist perspectives. The Bible is filled with verses that tell us that we are made for social connections, and the importance of the family unit. In addition, Adlerian therapy and Feminist therapy will both help people to reframe or empower themselves from the things holding them back such as early life experiences or gender socialization. God doesn't care about our background, or gender, or our race. He doesn't need us to have a reputation with man. God loves those who love Him. He helps those who want His help. When we realize how much God loves us, and we realize we can be set free from our circumstances, through faith and reliance on Christ, we will begin to behave differently. Once we learn who we are and what we have been born to do, we will never view life the same again. Reframing is one of God’s biggest strengths. He can turn the worst experiences into beautiful ones when we partner with Him. As people begin to reframe their faulty beliefs, and they replace them with God's Word, they will move forward instead of backwards. With God we always move forward.

References:

Astrauskaite, M., & Kern, R. (2011). A Lifestyle Perspective on Potential Victims of Workplace Harassment. Journal Of Individual Psychology, 67(4), 420-431.

Blumer, M., Papaj, A., & Erolin, K. (2013). Feminist Family Therapy for Treating Female Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Journal Of Feminist Family Therapy, 25(2), 65-79.

Corey, G. (2012). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy 9th . Cengage (ISBN: 978-0-8400-2854-9).

McLean, L, Guardia, A, Nelson, J. & Watts, R. (2016). Incorporating Adlerian and Feminist Theory to Address Self-Objectification in Couples Therapy. Family Journal, 24(4), 420-427.